A childs struggle

I have heard a lot of military wives speak about how hard deployment is on them but i have not heard to much about how it effects the kids. For the last few weeks things have gotten much harder for our three boys as far as dealing with daddy being gone. We have had uncontrollable sobbing, separation anxiety and even verbal and physical abuse (the boys towards each other and one incidents towards me). My oldest son was crying so hard, i couldn't console him with kind words or a warm hug. He was yelling at me saying things like "my daddy left me" "he is never coming home because there are to many bad guys" and even went as far as saying my husband wasn't coming home because he didn't love me. My middle child has a hard time expressing himself verbally and has instead taken his frustration out by throwing fits. For about a week now i have not been able to get Merrick to go to bed. I have to run out of the room after i put him down to sleep all while he is chasing me and crying for me. It breaks my heart and i find myself sobbing right along with them. If i could take all their sadness and hurt from this deployment and put it all on my self i would do it in a second. I can not stand that they are hurting for their daddy.
In order to help them throughout this process i have tried to be as honest as possible with them. We talk about daddy multiple times throughout the day. We Skype with him when we can. I have photos of them with their dad up everywhere in the house. We make fun plans for when he returns and talk about how fun it will be to spend our time with him. I have made sure to not change our routines because i think to much change for them would be hard to handle.
Deployments are hard and everyone will tell you that. I don't think anyone really understands until they go through it themselves and even then it is a different experience for each. I have learned many things about my self and about others.
1. I am stronger then i thought i was
2. My love for my husband has grown 10x
3. Life is short and i plan on making the best of it with my husband and my kids while we still have the time together.
4. Friends and Family will lie. No one is ever there when they are needed. Both for me and for my husband.
5. I have learned to let go of those who don't matter and in turn have been enjoying my life and living it just for myself, my kids and my husband.

So tonight i caved and snuggled my crying baby boy. I think Merrick is more of a physical person then my other two, he needs to be held and hugged to know that he is loved and safe.